Soft Evidence

Why be nervous when in fact, I am telling the truth. There might be some glitches while reenacting the past, but that's because my memory cannot serve me right. Lack of practice maybe. I've been lazy lately to use this part of my mental faculty.  Another thing, I'm having difficulty suitcasing memories.

Anyway, I just am waiting. Waiting that she would tell in my face that I am not telling the truth. That it was all fiction and just a result of a playful imagination. I have been imagining her conversing with me and at the end would tell me "You're fired!"

If I am not ripe, I'm raw

Imagining myself few months ago, I can say that I am a little bit different now considering my sudden change of perspectives and an increase level of maturity. The lazy me has changed into a competitive me. Policies that I once ignored became concepts that I reckoned with. I am not sure if it comes with age, this thinking that I should seriously do what I ought to do.

Some even considered the "new me" as joke and temporary. But I don't care that much. As long as I am acting the way I should be in my age right now, I see no wrong. Still, I understand them for being such. People are like that, they are afraid of change, skeptical of new.

There are just two sides to be decided upon,the ripe or the raw. If I have to choose to be raw then I am not ripe.

Moving up? Moving out?

Career move offers two roads: to move up or to move out and it's for me to know the best  road to take.

UNTITLED

I am bored. I am tired. I'm not sure what's the difference between the two.But I am certain of  one thing: this monotonous, repetitive, routinely life that I have right now makes me sick. A lot. Life for me should have variations and colors. It should never be forever blue and gray.

I browsed the internet and read the news. "Campaign Violence" was what I saw and right there stopped reading the article. There's nothing new, I thought. It's the same as last election, politicians armed with guns, vote buying and cheating are old issues. Everybody expects that though nobody wants that. 

I googled anything that came to my mind, read blogs, and stopped when I came across our university's website. I've viewed the successful applicants who passed the College of Law Oral Examination. I saw familiar names, most of them were my batch mates. It never crossed my mind taking that entrance examination. I was decided that I will pursue Law in another school. It's not because I don't believe by the quality education that it offers. In fact, it's one of the  top schools here in the Philippines. What just bothers me is the system that it has. Many say that it is the microscopic model of the Philippines. From the system, to the bureaucracy, to the bureaucrats.

I looked through the window, everything is the same from heavy traffic, pile of garbage, children who beg, and prostitutes. How stupid am I? I murmured. Am I out of my mind? Worrying  about these problems wouldn't change anything. The perfect thing to do is to shut up, go on with my life and just go with the flow. Goddam me could not save this country. Even politicians  who promised heaven and earth couldn't do either. When they die their plans will go with them, like dust in the wind.

But how I couldn't be affected? I suffered from these skyrocketing prices of basic commodities. I suffered from these rampant corruption. I suffered from these deteriorating system. No one  knows the solution, I believe, because if there is one who knows, can someone tell me why are we still like this?

Post-Haste

I want to live in a fast-paced environment. I want to get to work as fast as I could. I want to buy gadgets and technology related stuff to make my life more convenient and easier. I  don't want any hassles.

Everyday in my four year experience as a student finishing an undergrad degree, I always wish time to fly so fast. That because I want to graduate immediately and afterwards get a decent job to finance my study when I enroll in law school. I want everything to move quickly. I don't want any delays.

In my intention to achieve my goals as fast as I could, I'm unable to notice that I'm already living with the future and forgot that I'm living with the present. I've been myopic. My life became complex. I don't even know how to apply the very basic of life: To live simply.
 
Everyday for me is a race. But I don't know who my opponents are. Is it the time or is it just me? Time runs so fast and so do I. And the rewards are: life that is complicated, stressed me, and ignorance of the essential, the fundamental and the elementary.

BOOKS AND SUMMER

I've been very excited for this summer not only because it's graduation time..Yey! But also this means less stress and less pressures from school! It is a perfect time to sit back and  relax.

I've been imagining how it would be to be in a beach, laying down on that cool white sand, reading a book and all you can hear are children laughing and playing and the sound of the ocean waves. That  would be cool, I think.

Sigh! How I've been longing for summer! In my four year stay in the City, I've been missing the smell of the  ocean, the gentle breeze, and the fact that I'm home. I know that this is being "nostalgiaholic" of me.

By the way, I've been indulging the crave of reading a book these past few days. And in three  days, I've finished reading Paulo Coelho's Brida and I am currently hitting John Grisham's The Partner. I plan to read Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor again by buying my own copy of the book. Maybe this  cut-off, I'll also buy Haruki Murakami's books and more of the three brilliant authors I've mentioned.







I'm unable to read books continously for ages now, and I think this would be the perfect time to do so.

Julia in DFA

               I intently listen with my friend while she’s in a burst of seething rage against “V.I.P treatment” given to the celebrities here in the Philippines. I have no personal grudge to a celebrity featured in this post, just a reminder that celebrities have moral responsibilities as a price of fame. These are the photos by the way:

              I do not personally witness what happened in the Department of Foreign Affairs. So I would just have to rely on my friend’s version of the story. She went at DFA along with some companions to have their passport renewed. They were on queue for about two hours. Men, women and children of all ages were quietly queuing waiting their turn.
             Then suddenly Julia Clarete came. For those who don’t know her, she’s a Filipina singer and actress and one of the co-hosts of Eat Bulaga, the longest actively running noontime TV show in the Philippines. She went inside the restricted area where employees process the application. She was entertained by the employees and processed her application immediately forgetting maybe, that there are other people waiting outside.
             People started to rant, expressing their strong approval against an unequal treatment in an institution that should be practicing fairness since it caters services to the public. Then it doesn’t end there. Employees began to take some pictures with Julia. People shouted. What the heck are the employees doing inside?
             This is just one of the negative bureaucratic behaviors practiced in every government entity here in our country. What happened is a manifestation of an unequal society, high profile personas over ordinary men. I don’t know what has been taking place with our culture, a culture in danger maybe.
             People treat these modern personalities as if they were heroes. But celebrities are not heroes. Historian Daniel Boorstin in his book “The image” said that “the hero was distinguished by his achievement, the celebrity but his image or trademark. The hero created himself; the celebrity is created by the media. The hero was a big man; the celebrity was a big name’’.
             Beyond that point, I guess celebrities should know their major social responsibility to do what is right since public’s eye is on them whatever they do, wherever they go.