Soft Evidence

Why be nervous when in fact, I am telling the truth. There might be some glitches while reenacting the past, but that's because my memory cannot serve me right. Lack of practice maybe. I've been lazy lately to use this part of my mental faculty.  Another thing, I'm having difficulty suitcasing memories.

Anyway, I just am waiting. Waiting that she would tell in my face that I am not telling the truth. That it was all fiction and just a result of a playful imagination. I have been imagining her conversing with me and at the end would tell me "You're fired!"

If I am not ripe, I'm raw

Imagining myself few months ago, I can say that I am a little bit different now considering my sudden change of perspectives and an increase level of maturity. The lazy me has changed into a competitive me. Policies that I once ignored became concepts that I reckoned with. I am not sure if it comes with age, this thinking that I should seriously do what I ought to do.

Some even considered the "new me" as joke and temporary. But I don't care that much. As long as I am acting the way I should be in my age right now, I see no wrong. Still, I understand them for being such. People are like that, they are afraid of change, skeptical of new.

There are just two sides to be decided upon,the ripe or the raw. If I have to choose to be raw then I am not ripe.

Moving up? Moving out?

Career move offers two roads: to move up or to move out and it's for me to know the best  road to take.

UNTITLED

I am bored. I am tired. I'm not sure what's the difference between the two.But I am certain of  one thing: this monotonous, repetitive, routinely life that I have right now makes me sick. A lot. Life for me should have variations and colors. It should never be forever blue and gray.

I browsed the internet and read the news. "Campaign Violence" was what I saw and right there stopped reading the article. There's nothing new, I thought. It's the same as last election, politicians armed with guns, vote buying and cheating are old issues. Everybody expects that though nobody wants that. 

I googled anything that came to my mind, read blogs, and stopped when I came across our university's website. I've viewed the successful applicants who passed the College of Law Oral Examination. I saw familiar names, most of them were my batch mates. It never crossed my mind taking that entrance examination. I was decided that I will pursue Law in another school. It's not because I don't believe by the quality education that it offers. In fact, it's one of the  top schools here in the Philippines. What just bothers me is the system that it has. Many say that it is the microscopic model of the Philippines. From the system, to the bureaucracy, to the bureaucrats.

I looked through the window, everything is the same from heavy traffic, pile of garbage, children who beg, and prostitutes. How stupid am I? I murmured. Am I out of my mind? Worrying  about these problems wouldn't change anything. The perfect thing to do is to shut up, go on with my life and just go with the flow. Goddam me could not save this country. Even politicians  who promised heaven and earth couldn't do either. When they die their plans will go with them, like dust in the wind.

But how I couldn't be affected? I suffered from these skyrocketing prices of basic commodities. I suffered from these rampant corruption. I suffered from these deteriorating system. No one  knows the solution, I believe, because if there is one who knows, can someone tell me why are we still like this?

Post-Haste

I want to live in a fast-paced environment. I want to get to work as fast as I could. I want to buy gadgets and technology related stuff to make my life more convenient and easier. I  don't want any hassles.

Everyday in my four year experience as a student finishing an undergrad degree, I always wish time to fly so fast. That because I want to graduate immediately and afterwards get a decent job to finance my study when I enroll in law school. I want everything to move quickly. I don't want any delays.

In my intention to achieve my goals as fast as I could, I'm unable to notice that I'm already living with the future and forgot that I'm living with the present. I've been myopic. My life became complex. I don't even know how to apply the very basic of life: To live simply.
 
Everyday for me is a race. But I don't know who my opponents are. Is it the time or is it just me? Time runs so fast and so do I. And the rewards are: life that is complicated, stressed me, and ignorance of the essential, the fundamental and the elementary.

BOOKS AND SUMMER

I've been very excited for this summer not only because it's graduation time..Yey! But also this means less stress and less pressures from school! It is a perfect time to sit back and  relax.

I've been imagining how it would be to be in a beach, laying down on that cool white sand, reading a book and all you can hear are children laughing and playing and the sound of the ocean waves. That  would be cool, I think.

Sigh! How I've been longing for summer! In my four year stay in the City, I've been missing the smell of the  ocean, the gentle breeze, and the fact that I'm home. I know that this is being "nostalgiaholic" of me.

By the way, I've been indulging the crave of reading a book these past few days. And in three  days, I've finished reading Paulo Coelho's Brida and I am currently hitting John Grisham's The Partner. I plan to read Chuck Palahniuk's Survivor again by buying my own copy of the book. Maybe this  cut-off, I'll also buy Haruki Murakami's books and more of the three brilliant authors I've mentioned.







I'm unable to read books continously for ages now, and I think this would be the perfect time to do so.

Julia in DFA

               I intently listen with my friend while she’s in a burst of seething rage against “V.I.P treatment” given to the celebrities here in the Philippines. I have no personal grudge to a celebrity featured in this post, just a reminder that celebrities have moral responsibilities as a price of fame. These are the photos by the way:

              I do not personally witness what happened in the Department of Foreign Affairs. So I would just have to rely on my friend’s version of the story. She went at DFA along with some companions to have their passport renewed. They were on queue for about two hours. Men, women and children of all ages were quietly queuing waiting their turn.
             Then suddenly Julia Clarete came. For those who don’t know her, she’s a Filipina singer and actress and one of the co-hosts of Eat Bulaga, the longest actively running noontime TV show in the Philippines. She went inside the restricted area where employees process the application. She was entertained by the employees and processed her application immediately forgetting maybe, that there are other people waiting outside.
             People started to rant, expressing their strong approval against an unequal treatment in an institution that should be practicing fairness since it caters services to the public. Then it doesn’t end there. Employees began to take some pictures with Julia. People shouted. What the heck are the employees doing inside?
             This is just one of the negative bureaucratic behaviors practiced in every government entity here in our country. What happened is a manifestation of an unequal society, high profile personas over ordinary men. I don’t know what has been taking place with our culture, a culture in danger maybe.
             People treat these modern personalities as if they were heroes. But celebrities are not heroes. Historian Daniel Boorstin in his book “The image” said that “the hero was distinguished by his achievement, the celebrity but his image or trademark. The hero created himself; the celebrity is created by the media. The hero was a big man; the celebrity was a big name’’.
             Beyond that point, I guess celebrities should know their major social responsibility to do what is right since public’s eye is on them whatever they do, wherever they go.

CLASS PROPHECY of Bachelor in Public Administration and Governance (BPAG) 4-1

The following is our class prophecy done by my very eloquent classmate. This is more of a request rather than a forecast albeit a prophecy requires the latter. I was by the way requested to become a strategic planner of the President (not necessarily the current RP President).

To all members of my beloved organization, faculty, friends, brothers and sisters, foes, good afternoon. First, let me give our warmest congratulations to the new slate of PSS officers. You have all the trust and support from the future immediate alumni of our dear affiliation. And next, I would live to offer a toast for a job well done present officers who organized this event. Please be informed that at the end of the day, what's gonna be measured are the things that you have done, and not the ones that you never did. You can live PSS with smiles on your heart.

This class prophecy would not start with the usual blah blah and blah blah of what juan is going to be or who pedro is going to marry because I always mis-predict the future. I might be crucified if i forecast that CARMELA CORONADO would immediately get married the day after graduation if the truth is she will be the CEO of her company first before doing so. If i tell that LOURDES "MA-L" BACUD would be a stunt woman in movies, but what she happens to be is a member of abstract dancers, or if i tell that MIRASOL GAOR will be a fellow in a research institute, but she beccomes the doctor in our batch. Is JESSICA NADINNE TADURAN gonna be a college terror professor? Or is she going to be a specialist at the bureau of internal revenue? Is FAITH SIMON destined to be the first PUPian senator? Or the first PUPian to be the wife of a senator? I know that HERLENE BLANCO will be successful someday. I'm just not sure if it is in ice cream business or in chocolate industry. To JOALA CHUA, someday your arts and crafts will be recognized by many. I’m sure of it. Same as JENNILYN CAABRERA, your skills will lift you to victory.

You guys are good people. Never ever let evil to penetrate your hearts.

The net America's top model might come from DPSPA. LUISA GONZALES will surely take the industry by storm - that is if she doesn't pursue her singing career. To JOHN HENRY TAMAYO, his excellency, i see a great statesman in you. Please don't produce kids early, the country needs a strong dedicated people like you. Madam HELEN MAY FRIAS, please get out of the call center after graduation, you will rot in there. The office of the president needs wise strategic planners and you exactly fit there.
Class prophecies do not come true. Yes they don’t. They are only idealistic sentiments and predictions full of blah blahs and blah blahs of who gets what and who gets whom. So this non-traditional class prophecy is more of a request rather than a forecast.

NGO’s need kind and caring people to man their posts. LESLIE DITA, you are definitely one of those people. Strong governance starts with strong local government. Ms. AIZZA MAGNAYE, when you come home to your native land, I know that you will spread the word, and more than that, you will put your words into action. Mr. RONNEL ESTELLA, you are one of your kind. I mean you are superb in your field, whatever decision you make, I see you as a successful person.

ATTY. HANNA ABAD, you are the crème of the crop, please continue doing so, to the other HANNA,
GIETA ORQUIA, a great musician and a woman of faith. Who knows, you might be a secretary of National Defense one day? JOYCE, you got a lot of chances with the opportunities you got. Kindly top the bar exams for me. VIVIEN, you’re a good business woman, I’m pretty sure your good at that. If we want to do something, do it hard, do it strong, don’t ponder and make your own decisions. I know MERRY ROSE that soon, you will be the strong person you always wanted to be.

We are the masters of our fates and we are captains of our souls. It’s not only a matter of destiny but desire, luck and hard work. We create our paths and we design our destinations.
MAEVA VALENCIA is a lady of good work ethics. I know that you can be easily promoted in whatever job you take. So as EM QUIAMBAO, when she gets it serious, she accepts the challenge of every task. If there is one person I admire in writing inside our class, it’s gotta be LIZEL GUARINO. One day, your writing skills will put your name in giant publications. The most exposed person to politics, SK chairman RACHELLE RIVERA. 5-10 years from now, you will be the youngest mayor of Manila. LEA MAY SANJOSE, I see your passion towards work. You’re worth keeping for your future environment. ELLEN GRACE BUNA, you’re a tough woman. I know you can overcome any struggle you encounter.

KUYA RONALD, do I have to tell how hard working and dedicated you are? You are already successful in life, but I’m sure you have a lot more to come. You’re a great man.

To the ALL STAR, my brothers, you are *virtusuos* (victorious?) of your own fields. You are above anybody of your own kind. You will get what you deserve someday.

Someday, when we are already out there, it’s up to us whether we contribute to our economy’s labor force or not. Whatever decision we make, we affect the situation of the whole batch from where we belong.

We may separate our ways after this, but it’s always nice to thank that once in our lives we were in a group with happy memories and laughter in our hearts. Happy marching and bon voyage. Good day.

We do in fact Have Limits

Amidst a busy day, there comes a realization that we need to rest and take some time to ponder.

I was busy with our thesis, doing some final editing, proofreading some parts of it. It was the same day that student activists from PUP protest against an overwhelming tuition fee increase from 12 pesos per unit to 200 pesos per unit. But I will just delve into that in my next post since I am still unable to upload some pictures and videos I've taken during the said fiery protest.

Going back, I was terribly tired during that day, trying to beat the deadline for the thesis. I was exhausted. Drained. But the patience in me says that I have to finish this one, for the last time. It is after all my license to finish my degree.

Then my friends came over, requesting me to go with them to visit an alumnae confined in PGH(Philippine General Hospital). I was hesitant at first. My body needs some rest. I was working all day. And that day was my only rest day from work for the entire week. But since they know how to convince me, I went with them.

I was thinking what to say when we arrive there. I was mumbling some words while looking for her room.Few minutes elapsed and we were finally there. We knocked. An old woman probably in her 70's opened the door for us. She smiled but the smile can't hide the sadness she feels. Her eyes look like they have no more tears to cry.

The room was quiet. The silence kills. I saw her lying on her bed, sleeping. She has not changed. She still is beautiful, inside and out. Time went back. I remember her delivering her speech as she campaigns for President for Political Science Society. I remember her denouncing our bill legalizing prostitution in our youth congress. I remember her as a good person. A strong person who can surmount every struggle comes her way.

We had our conversation with her lola for about twenty or thirty minutes. We were cautious, guarded by our instinct not to raise any subject that would aggravate the situation. We took it light. Then we finally decided to go home.

I was wondering why people as good as her suffers. But no one can question God in instances like that. No one can comprehend the wisdom he may have for letting that to happen. There are situations sending important message to us. This made me realized that we do have limits and when we reached that limit, it’s time for us to rest , to gain strength and to renew our energy.

To a Friend "Cry,but know when to stop"

It is just ironic that I am doing this post next to my previous post which talks about how beautiful love is. But the current situation forced me to write something that would give some relief to a friend whose heart has been broken or I might as well say whose heart's strength has been tested.

To a friend whom I loved who has been a good friend:

Things change. People change. Circumstances change. Everything is subjected to a constant change.

I know that this is not easy for you. Moving on is a long process. You have to go through some serious stages to bounce back. I know that you were not warned that "Loving a person comes a possiblity of losing him". And the road doesn't end when you lose him. It's a start of something new.

I know that you know that. But you just need a tap from your back, a shoulder that you can cry on, a hand that can wipe your tears for you to finally recover.

I am just here. Your friends are here. You don't need to shout out loud for us to hear you. We just feel it that you need us.

Love that is Genuine

(An article written by me three years ago as a requirement in my English 1)

I remember the lines from one of my favorite songs, “I Will Still Love You” by Stonebolt. Some parts of it give me an idea of a genuine love.

“When the moon doesn’t mean forever and the sun shines electric blue, and the mountains and trees tumble into the sea and rest their for eternity, no matter what you do, I will still love you”

It’s an outstanding concept of love no matter how hard things maybe, no matter what the person you love, no matter what the distance is. It’s an unconditional love despite those ordeals we have to endure. After all, love isn’t easy at all.

People always scared of giving out love and letting it come in. It’s because they think it as a responsibility. They fear the sacrifices that they may offer during the process of loving. But love is never a responsibility,it is a passion. You are giving it without hesitation. It is not quid pro quo or something that is given for an exchange. Love is a sacrifice, even you’re in a depth of distress. The only time you will learn how to love is when you learn how to sacrifice.

Who said that love should be subjective? When we love, we don’t love the qualities, we love the person as a whole, and sometimes it is because of their deficiency, that we realize that we fall for them. Sometimes we love them because they show some human weaknesses and blunder.

Love sees no distance. Love is never irrational. Letting it come in doesn’t mean that you’re soft. It is actually the most rational thing.

Tulala

Tulala habang iniisip ang mga susunod na plano
Tulala habang humihigop ng manit na kape
Tulala habang nakikinig ng makalumang tugtugin sa radyo
Tulala habang naliligo at habng naghahanda papasok sa trabaho

Tulala habang nakasakay sa tren
Tulala habang nagtatrabaho
Tulala habang pinagagalitan ng boss
Tulala habang hinihithit ang bawat piraso ng sigarilyo

Tulala habang kumakain
Tulala habang nilulunok ang pagkaing ibinaon sa trabaho
Tulala habang nanonood ng tv
Tulala habang naglalakad pauwi

Tulala habang iniisip pa rin ang susunod na plano
Tulala habang naglalakbay ang isip sa kawalan
Tulala habang hinihimay ang mga planong naisip
Tulala habang tulala

On Taking UPLAE

Just like any takers who share their insights and experiences about UPLAE, I have also this want to tell how it was to take one of the hardest entrance exams on the way to law school. But right now, I think, I am not in the position to give some tips on passing the exam since the result is not yet finalized. That only means that the strategies and techniques I used cannot be considered as reliable sources of information in penetrating UP College of Law.

But let's just take into account, my experience before, during and after the exam. Well, I am one of those who spent almost 11 thousand just to have my review in one of the review centers in Katipunan. That amount covers eight sessions,if I'm not mistaken, conducted every Sunday from 8 am to 12 pm. That is a four hour session every week. Having a review is somewhat an advantage but it doesn't give a 100 percent assurance of passing the exam.

It is an advantage because that knowledge of yours which have been long lost and forgotten will be revived. You will remember the basics of algebra, geometry, english like correct grammar, reading comprehension, abstract and logic. It is the same as taking college entrance examinations. The only difference is that, it has lots of logic. If you have taken Logic during your college years, all the basics of categorical syllogisms and hypothetical syllogisms are sure to appear in the exam.

During the exam,if my memory serves me right, we were given 45 minutes in every subject except the last part which is the essay part. Unlike in the previous years,in which the takers had given the topic, we had our chance to choose a topic of our interest. Mine, I chose Noynoy and Cory as symbols of hope and democracy. Everyone,I think, did not expect this. UPLAE is truly full of surprises.

All in all, taking the exam was really a great experience. This will test how far your knowledge will take you. It tests the foundation that you have built in your study for six years in elementary, four years in high school and four years or five years in college.

All you have to remember is that thousands of brilliant students are vying for only 200 or 300 spots.Failing the exam is not enough measuring scale of your capacity. It will neither predict your staying power once you are in law school nor your capability once you are already practicing your law profession.

And I still failed to pass the REQUIREMENT...

I don't know what's wrong with some of the employees at the university that i'm enrolled in, with some of the people in my college in partcular. I still lack the certificate of grades that is needed in my application at UP College of Law. I promised those people at Malcom that the certification will be followed and that is 2months ago. Fortunately, when I called and informed them about the said requirement,the person that I've talked with remained considerate and said that it was ok. That was very relieving on my part since I'm thinking of that almost everyday.

I don't want to put a blame on anyone. But it's just how the persons in the college treat students that freaked me out. I asked that particular person (I just don't wanna name names) about the status of the certification that I've requested, and she answered with her frowning face that the signatory is not yet around. So I asked again what time would she possibly arrive and what time would I probably get it. Yet again, while with her eyebrows brought together, she said that the question has already been answered (Sinagot ko na diba?). My question might look very stupid but my point of asking that is because she has the idea of the time that the signatory usually arrives. So I'm asking of the probable time that I might get the certificate.

I might understand that kind of expression of hers if I went there in the afternoon since she might be so exhausted due to a long day of work. But I came there in the morning and I intended that to caught them in the good mood. I entered in the office smiling at them and greeting them good morning, so I don't see any reason for me to be treated as harsh as that. I even say thank you when I went out but failed to be acknowledged.

I don't know why there are such people like that. And I don't want to know why..